' He was then quite content; and though he
moaned and was restless, he tried to sleep, and I sat by him magnetizing
the foot locally, as I had the habit of doing, to soothe the pain, and
it gave him so much relief that he dozed a little, and said, 'I dreamt
I saw our little flat in London, and it had quite a nice large room in
it.' Between whiles he laughed and talked and spoke of our future plans,
and even joked.
"At four o'clock he got more uneasy, and I said I should go for the
doctor. He said, 'Oh no, don't disturb him; he cannot do anything.'
And I answered, 'What is the use of keeping a doctor if he is not to
be called when you are suffering?' The doctor was there in a few
moments, felt his heart and pulse, found him in perfect order--that
the gout was healthy. He gave him some medicine and went back to bed.
About half-past four he complained that there was no air. I flew
back for the doctor, who came and found him in danger. I went at once,
called up all the servants, sent in five directions for a priest,
according to the directions I had received, hoping to get one; and the
doctor, and I and Lisa[1] under the doctor's orders, tried every remedy
and restorative, but in vain.
"What harasses my memory, what I cannot bear to think of, what wakes me
with horror every morning from four till seven, when I get up, is that
for a minute or two he kept on crying, "Oh, Puss, chloroform--ether--or
I am a dead man!' My God! I would have given him the blood out of my
veins, if it would have saved him; but I had no answer, 'My darling, the
doctor says it will kill you; he is doing all he knows.
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