You can't pelieve von half you know,
Such lies dose papers make.
I vonder if dose tales are true,
Ve lose most all our ships,
Our colonies and commerce too;
I hear tings mit my lips.
I vonder if dose Dardanelles,
Can shtop der allied fleet,
Somedimes to me dere's someting tells,
Maype dose Turks get peat.
I vonder, too, if Italy
Vill give to us der bump,
Shoost now she's vaiting yet to see
Vichway der cat vill yump.
I vonder can our army shtop
Dose Russian teufels' raid,
Or vill dey gain de mountain top
Or fail to make de grade.
I vonder if dot Balkan bunch,
Und Greece und Holland too,
Should give us britty soon de punch,
Vot vill der Kaiser do.
I vonder vere der Kaiser shtays
Mit all dose poys of his,
You pet, dey keep a goot long vays
From vere de bullets whiz.
I vonder if dot kultur's goot,
Sometimes it is, no doubt,
But ven it comes to daily foodt
I luf der saur-kraut.
I vonder if ve all get stung,
Like vot de Yankees say;
Der Kaiser maype yet get hung,
If ve don't vin de day.
* * * * *
Mine gracious! vot is dat I say?
No von, I hope, don't hear;
Dose spies vould sell mine life away
For von goot drink of peer.
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