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Gray, Arthur Herbert, 1868-1956

"Men Women and God"


I do not recognize any problem in those cases where marriage has not
been based upon love. When a man or a woman marries for financial
reasons, or out of a desire for a certain place in society, or because
of a mere desire to settle down in life, then he or she runs an
enormous risk, and there is nothing to be surprised at if trouble
follows. So close an intimacy as marriage involves is really only
tolerable when love constantly supplies reasons for patience,
generosity and forgiveness. In fact by marrying for any other reason
than love men and women only make the permanent and inevitable problems
of life a great deal harder to solve. And a human life does always
involve a problem either in or out of marriage. Life is a complex and
perplexing business.
But if it be true that many marriages begin with intense love and yet
after some time turn out unhappily, then a very real problem is
presented to our minds, and probably what I have already said about the
wonder of sex love, and its harmonizing influence on personalities, has
accentuated that problem for some of my readers.


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