Here again there are no absolute rules. Miss Royden, for instance, has
written a most notable chapter called "The Sin of the Bridegroom" in
which with fine candor she points out how cruel it may be for a husband
to suppose that on the first night of his marriage, and after a day of
great fatigue, his wife will necessarily be emotionally attuned for her
first experience of intimacy, and how fatal the results may be if he
imposes himself upon her in an unresponsive hour. I am sure that
every word in that chapter is true and important. I agree with the
suggestion that every man should read it before he marries. But it is
also true that many couples who did then experience intimacy can look
back upon the first night of marriage as on a sacred occasion which
they recall with wonder.
Yes, there are no absolute rules. But there are unalterable facts. And
the supremely important one here is that sexual intimacy is only a
perfect experience when it is a mutual experience. I think the delusion
is nearly dead that woman is a passionless creature, who will never
actively desire her husband but who ought to be willing to receive him
whenever he desires.
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