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Gray, Arthur Herbert, 1868-1956

"Men Women and God"

That would often be a cruel thing to
do which might cause great and even permanent damage to a sensitive
nature. But if both who are involved in the matter will face the truth
about it, they may succeed in passing on into a natural and healthy
friendship which may be invaluable to both and a gain to society. If it
be asked wherein lies the essential difference between a G. P. and a
friendship I think answer has been given in the words: "Friendship is
an other-regarding emotion and proves itself to be an uplifting force,
while a G. P. is self-regarding, and consequently generally is socially
exclusive and therefore harmful." A G. P. generally involves a desire
to have somebody else all to yourself. That is the sign of the
unnatural sex element in it. But a friendship leads to happy co-
operation between two people in the work and recreation of the world.
One of the tests of universal application in this realm of life lies in
the fact that real love always wants to give, and that the attitude of
wanting greedily to get is not true love.


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