All that
I can tell you now is this: I have a great fear that I was to some
degree the cause of another man's ruin. I do not mean that I was to
blame for it. But if I had not been known to him, his career might
perhaps never have come to so abrupt an end. I am not sure, but I am
afraid. I asked whether it was so, and I was told 'no,' but I think very
likely that generosity dictated that answer. And the fear stays. I am
much distressed by it. I lie awake with it at night. And then you come
whom I greatly value, and you say quietly, 'Will you please spoil my
career too?'" And she struck one hand sharply into the other and cried,
"But that I will not do."
And again he answered:--
"There is no need that you should. Wadi Halfa is not the only place
where a soldier can find work to his hand."
His voice had taken a new hopefulness. For he had listened intently to
the words which she had spoken, and he had construed them by the
dictionary of his desires. She had not said that friendship bounded all
her thoughts of him. Therefore he need not believe it. Women were given
to a hinting modesty of speech, at all events the best of them. A man
might read a little more emphasis into their tones, and underline their
words and still be short of their meaning, as he argued.
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