Lord Palmerston's being sold to Russia, the exact number of roubles
paid, by what house in the City, is a favourite theme with this kind of
Snob. I once overheard him--it was Captain Spitfire, R.N., (who had been
refused a ship by the Whigs, by the way)--indulging in the following
conversation with Mr. Minns after dinner.
Why wasn't the Princess Scragamoffsky at Lady Palmerston's party, Minns?
Because SHE CAN'T SHOW--why can't she show? Shall I tell you, Minns,
why she can't show? The Princess Scragainoffsky's back is flayed alive,
Minns--I tell you it's raw, sir! On Tuesday last, at twelve o'clock,
three drummers of the Preobajinski Regiment arrived at Ashburnham House,
and at half-past twelve, in the yellow drawing-room at the Russian
Embassy, before the ambassadress and four ladies'-maids, the Greek Papa,
and the Secretary of Embassy, Madame de Scragamoffsky received thirteen
dozen. She was knouted, sir, knouted in the midst of England--in
Berkeley Square, for having said that the Grand Duchess Olga's hair was
red. And now, sir, will you tell me Lord Palmerston ought to continue
Minister?'
Minns: 'Good Ged!'
Minns follows Spitfire about, and thinks him the greatest and wisest of
human beings.
CHAPTER XXXIX--CLUB SNOBS
Why does not some great author write 'The Mysteries of the Club-houses;
or St. James's Street unveiled?' It would be a fine subject for an
imaginative writer.
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