And who misguides them? If the world were more simple, would not those
foolish people follow the fashion? Does not the world love COURT
GUIDES, and millinery, and plate, and carriages? Mercy on us! Read the
fashionable intelligence; read the COURT CIRCULAR; read the genteel
novels; survey mankind, from Pimlico to Red Lion Square, and see how the
Poor Snob is aping the Rich Snob; how the Mean Snob is grovelling at the
feet of the Proud Snob; and the Great Snob is lording it over his humble
brother. Does the idea of equality ever enter Dives' head? Will it ever?
Will the Duchess of Fitzbattleaxe (I like a good name) ever believe that
Lady Croesus, her next-door neighbour in Belgrave Square, is as good a
lady as her Grace? Will Lady Croesus ever leave off pining the Duchess's
parties, and cease patronizing Mrs. Broadcloth whose husband has not got
his Baronetcy yet? Will Mrs. Broadcloth ever heartily shake hands with
Mrs. Seedy, and give up those odious calculations about poor dear Mrs.
Seedy's income? Will Mrs. Seedy who is starving in her great house, go
and live comfortably in a little one, or in lodgings? Will her landlady,
Miss Letsam, ever stop wondering at the familiarity of tradespeople, or
rebuking the insolence of Suky, the maid, who wears flowers under her
bonnet like a lady?
But why hope, why wish for such times? Do I wish all Snobs to perish? Do
I wish these Snob papers to determine? Suicidal fool, art not thou, too,
a Snob and a brother?
CHAPTER XXXVII--CLUB SNOBS
As I wish to be particularly agreeable to the ladies (to whom I make my
most humble obeisance), we will now, if you please, commence maligning
a class of Snobs against whom, I believe, most female minds are
embittered--I mean Club Snobs.
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