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Thackeray, William Makepeace, 1811-1863

"The Book of Snobs"

What, gentlemen, can't we even
in the Church acknowledge a republic? There, at least, the Heralds'
College itself might allow that we all of us have the same pedigree,
and are direct descendants of Eve and Adam, whose inheritance is divided
amongst us.
I hereby call upon all Dukes, Earls, Baronets, and other potentates, not
to lend themselves to this shameful scandal and error, and beseech all
Bishops who read this publication to take the matter into consideration,
and to protest against the continuance of the practice, and to declare,
'We WON'T confirm or christen Lord Tomnoddy, or Sir Carnaby Jenks, to
the exclusion of any other young Christian;' the which declaration if
their Lordships are induced to make, a great LAPIS OFFENSIONIS will be
removed, and the Snob Papers will not have been written in vain.
A story is current of a celebrated NOUVEAU-RICHE, who having had
occasion to oblige that excellent prelate the Bishop of Bullocksmithy,
asked his Lordship, in return, to confirm his children privately in his
Lordship's own chapel; which ceremony the grateful prelate accordingly
performed. Can satire go farther than this? Is there even in this most
amusing of prints, any more NAIVE absurdity? It is as if a man wouldn't
go to heaven unless he went in a special train, or as if he thought (as
some people think about vaccination) Confirmation more effectual when
administered at first hand.


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