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Various

"Punch, or the London Charivari, Volume 156, June 18, 1919"

'
"Then I met Spruggy Boyce, who useter drive with me in the Umpteenth
Field Ambulance.
"'Glory, Docker,' says he, falling on my neck, his top-boots being a bit
loose, 'I was looking for you.'
"'I ain't got no money,' says I.
"'But you _can_ 'ave,' he whispers confidential, like they do in the
pictures. 'I'm riding Red Liz in the Balaam.'
"'Well,' I replies, 'I'm not denying that Red Liz is a perfect lady; but
that's 'er trouble--she's too ladylike to pass anyone.'
"'Docker,' he hisses, 'do you remember driving 'er one day down the
Menin Road when Fritz started shelling?'
"'Don't I just! Why, she didn't fetch up till nearly at St. Omer, and
the shells lost heart becos they couldn't catch 'er. But,' I says
regretfully, it takes shells to start Red Liz, an' we ain't got none.'
"'No, we 'aven't got shells,' whispers Spruggy, 'but I 've got some
crackers; an' if you sprinkle some on the course, it's a cert.'
"'Right-o!' says I. 'Me an' Nigger will see it through, if you'll lend
us another five francs to invest.'
"Then I went to _cherchay_ a bookie, but I couldn't find one anywheres.
"'They don't 'ave 'em 'ere,' says Nigger. 'You invests at the sheds over
there--the _Paree Mutual_.'
"'That's an insurance company,' answers I.


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