You will readily conceive my distress, when you reflect
upon my strong dislike to my cousin Edward, combined with my youth and
extreme inexperience. Any proposal of such a nature must have agitated
me; but that it should come from the man whom, of all others, I
instinctively most loathed and abhorred, and to whom I had, as clearly
as manner could do it, expressed the state of my feelings, was almost
too annoying to be borne; it was a calamity, too, in which I could not
claim the sympathy of my cousin Emily, which had always been extended
to me in my minor grievances. Still I hoped that it might not be
unattended with good; for I thought that one inevitable and most
welcome consequence would result from this painful _eclaircissement_,
in the discontinuance of my cousin's odious persecution.
When I arose next morning, it was with the fervent hope that I
might never again behold his face, or even hear his name; but such
a consummation, though devoutedly to be wished, was hardly likely to
occur. The painful impressions of yesterday were too vivid to be
at once erased; and I could not help feeling some dim foreboding of
coming annoyance and evil. To expect on my cousin's part anything like
delicacy or consideration for me, was out of the question. I saw that
he had set his heart upon my property, and that he was not likely
easily to forego such a prize, possessing what might have been
considered opportunities and facilities almost to compel my
compliance.
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