Now a family row is a private affair,
And guests, I am certain, should never be there;
I have freely maintained that a man and his wife
Cannot always agree on their journey through life,
But they ought not to bicker and wrangle and shout
And show off their rage when their friends are about;
It takes all the joy from a party, I vow,
When some couple starts up a family row.
It's a difficult job to stay cool and polite
When your host and your hostess are staging a fight:
It's hard to talk sweet to a dame with a frown
Or smile at a man that you want to knock down.
You sit like a dummy and look far away,
But you just can't help hearing the harsh things they say.
It ruins the dinner, I'm telling you now,
When your host and your hostess get mixed in a row.
The Lucky Man
Luck had a favor to bestow
And wondered where to let it go.
"No lazy man on earth," said she,
"Shall get this happy gift from me.
"I will not pass it to the man
Who will not do the best he can.
"I will not make this splendid gift
To one who has not practiced thrift.
"It shall not benefit deceit,
Nor help the man who's played the cheat.
"He that has failed to fight with pluck
Shall never know the Goddess Luck.
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