I've studied the sex for a number of years;
I've watched her in laughter and seen her in tears;
On her ways and her whims I have pondered a lot,
To find what will please her and just what will not;
But all that I've learned from the start to the close
Is that sooner or later she'll powder her nose.
At church or a ball game, a dance or a show,
There's one thing about her I know that I know--
At weddings or funerals, dinners of taste,
You can bet that her hand will dive into her waist,
And every few minutes she'll strike up a pose,
And the whole world must wait till she powders her nose.
The Chip on Your Shoulder
You'll learn when you're older that chip on your shoulder
Which you dare other boys to upset,
And stand up and fight for and struggle and smite for,
Has caused you much shame and regret.
When Time, life's adviser, has made you much wiser,
You won't be so quick with the blow;
You won't be so willing to fight for a shilling,
And change a good friend to a foe.
You won't be a sticker for trifles, and bicker
And quarrel for nothing at all;
You'll grow to be kinder, more thoughtful and blinder
To faults which are petty and small.
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