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Swedenborg, Emanuel, 1688-1772

"The Delights of Wisdom Pertaining to Conjugial Love"

"
* * * * *
ON THE CAUSES OF APPARENT LOVE, FRIENDSHIP, AND FAVOR IN MARRIAGES.
271. Having treated of the causes of cold and separation, it follows
from order that the causes of apparent love, friendship, and favor in
marriages, should also be treated of; for it is well known, that
although cold separates the minds (_animos_) of married partners at the
present day, still they live together, and have children; which would
not be the case, unless there were also apparent loves, alternately
similar to or emulous of the warmth of genuine love. That these
appearances are necessary and useful, and that without them there would
be no houses, and consequently no societies, will be seen in what
follows. Moreover, some conscientious persons may be distressed with the
idea, that the disagreement of mind subsisting between them and their
married partners, and the internal alienation thence arising, may be
their own fault, and may be imputed to them as such, and on this account
they are grieved at the heart; but as it is out of their power to
prevent internal disagreements, it is enough for them, by apparent love
and favor, from conscientious motives to subdue the inconveniences which
might arise: hence also friendship may possibly return, in which
conjugial love lies concealed on the part of such, although not on the
part of the other.


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