That this is the case, you that are
husbands can assure yourselves from the first delights of marriage,
which are in their fulness; because at that time the wife is the only
one of the sex that is loved. That the reverse is the case with those
who are not in conjugial love, is well known.
214. IV. WITH THOSE WHO ARE IN LOVE TRULY CONJUGIAL CONJUNCTION OF MINDS
INCREASES, AND THEREWITH FRIENDSHIP; BUT WITH THOSE WHO ARE NOT, THEY
BOTH DECREASE. That conjunction of minds increases with those who are in
love truly conjugial, was proved in the chapter ON THE CONJUNCTION OF
SOULS AND MINDS BY MARRIAGE, WHICH IS MEANT BY THE LORD'S WORDS, THAT
THEY ARE NO LONGER TWO BUT ONE FLESH, see n. 156*-191. But that
conjunction increases as friendship unites with love; because friendship
is as it were the face and also the raiment of that love; for it not
only joins itself to love as raiment, but also conjoins itself thereto
as a face. Love preceding friendship is like the love of the sex, which,
after the marriage vow, takes its leave and departs; whereas love
conjoined to friendship after the marriage vow, remains and is
strengthened; it likewise outers more interiorly into the breast,
friendship introducing it, and making it truly conjugial.
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