" The Second in order then began as follows:
"I also supposed that if I were but admitted into heaven, which was over
my head, I should there be encompassed with joys, which I should partake
of to eternity. I likewise wished to be there, and my wish was granted;
but the angels on seeing me fled away, and said one to another, 'What
prodigy is this! how came this bird of night here?' On hearing which, I
really felt as if I had undergone some change, and was no longer a man:
this however was merely imaginary, and arose from my breathing the
heavenly atmosphere. Presently, however, there came one running from the
judgment-hall, with an order that two servants should lead me out, and
conduct me back by the way I had ascended, till I had reached my own
home; and when I arrived there, I again appeared to others and also to
myself as a man." The Third said, "I always conceived heaven to be some
place of blessedness independent of the state of the affections;
wherefore as soon as I came into this world, I felt a most ardent desire
to go to heaven. Accordingly I followed some whom I saw ascending
thither, and was admitted along with them; but I did not proceed far;
for when I was desirous to delight my mind (_animus_) according to my
idea of heavenly blessedness, a sudden stupor, occasioned by the light
of heaven, which is as white as snow, and whose essence is said to be
wisdom, seized my mind (_mens_) and darkness my eyes, and I was reduced
to a state of insanity: and presently, from the heat of heaven, which
corresponds with the brightness of its light, and whose essence is said
to be love, there arose in my heart a violent palpitation, a general
uneasiness seized my whole frame, and I was inwardly excruciated to such
a degree that I threw myself flat on the ground.
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