The secret then is to enjoy; but the enjoyment must not be that of
the spoiler who carries away all that he can, and buries it in his
tent; but the joy of relationship, the joy of conspiring together
to be happy, the joy of consoling and sympathising and sharing,
because we have received so much. Of course there remain the
limitations of temperament, the difficulty of preventing our own
acrid humours from overflowing into other lives; but this cannot be
overcome by repression; it can only be overcome by tenderness.
There are very few people who have not the elements of this in
their character. I can count upon my fingers the malevolent men I
know, who prefer making others uncomfortable to trying to make them
glad; and all these men have been bullied in their youth, and are
unconsciously protecting themselves against bullying still. We grow
selfish, no doubt, for want of practice; ill-health makes villains
of some of us. But we can learn, if we desire it, to keep our
gruffness for our own consumption, and a very few experiments will
soon convince us that there are few pleasures in the world so
reasonable and so cheap, as the pleasure of giving pleasure.
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