We
excuse our thirst for action by pretending to ourselves that our
own doing may minister to the being of others; but all that it
often effects is to inoculate others with the same restless and
feverish bacteria.
And anyhow, as I said, it is but an experiment. I can terminate it
whenever I have the wish to do so. Even if it is a failure, it will
at all events have been an experiment, and others may learn wisdom
by my mistake; because it must be borne in mind that a failure in a
deliberate experiment in life is often more fruitful than a
conventional success. People as a rule are so cautious; and it is
of course highly disagreeable to run a risk, and to pay the
penalty. Life is too short, one feels, to risk making serious
mistakes; but, on the other hand, the cautious man often has the
catastrophe, without even having had the pleasure of a run for his
money. Jowett, the high priest of worldly wisdom, laid down as a
maxim, "Never resign"; but I have found myself that there is no
pleasure comparable to disentangling oneself from uncongenial
surroundings, unless it be the pleasure of making mild experiments
and trying unconventional schemes.
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