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Twain, Mark, 1835-1910

"Roughing It, Part 4."

On the
fourth morning, Arkansas got drunk and sat himself down to wait for an
opportunity. Presently Johnson came in, just comfortably sociable with
whisky, and said:
"I reckon the Pennsylvania 'lection--"
Arkansas raised his finger impressively and Johnson stopped. Arkansas
rose unsteadily and confronted him. Said he:
"Wha-what do you know a--about Pennsylvania? Answer me that. Wha--what
do you know 'bout Pennsylvania?"
"I was only goin' to say--"
"You was only goin' to say. You was! You was only goin' to say--what
was you goin' to say? That's it! That's what I want to know. I want to
know wha--what you ('ic) what you know about Pennsylvania, since you're
makin' yourself so d---d free. Answer me that!"
"Mr. Arkansas, if you'd only let me--"
"Who's a henderin' you? Don't you insinuate nothing agin me!--don't you
do it. Don't you come in here bullyin' around, and cussin' and goin' on
like a lunatic--don't you do it. 'Coz I won't stand it. If fight's what
you want, out with it! I'm your man! Out with it!"
Said Johnson, backing into a corner, Arkansas following, menacingly:
"Why, I never said nothing, Mr. Arkansas. You don't give a man no
chance. I was only goin' to say that Pennsylvania was goin' to have an
election next week--that was all--that was everything I was goin' to say
--I wish I may never stir if it wasn't."
"Well then why d'n't you say it? What did you come swellin' around that
way for, and tryin' to raise trouble?"
"Why I didn't come swellin' around, Mr.


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