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Various

"A Nonsense Anthology"



There was an old man who said, "Do
Tell me how I'm to add two and two?
I'm not very sure
That it doesn't make four--
But I fear that is almost too few."

There once was a man who said, "How
Shall I manage to carry my cow?
For if I should ask it
To get in my basket,
'Twould make such a terrible row."
_Anonymous_.

There once was an old man of Lyme
Who married three wives at a time;
When asked, "Why a third?"
He replied, "One's absurd!
And bigamy, sir, is a crime."

There once was a person of Benin,
Who wore clothes not fit to be seen in;
When told that he shouldn't,
He replied, "Gumscrumrudent!"
A word of inscrutable meanin'.

There once was a girl of New York
Whose body was lighter than cork;
She had to be fed
For six weeks upon lead,
Before she went out for a walk.
_Cosmo Monkhouse_.

There was a young man who was bitten
By twenty-two cats and a kitten;
Sighed he, "It is clear
My finish is near;
No matter; I'll die like a Briton!"

There was a princess of Bengal,
Whose mouth was exceedingly small;
Said she, "It would be
More easy for me
To do without eating at all!"

There was an old stupid who wrote
The verses above that we quote;
His want of all sense
Was something immense,
Which made him a person of note.


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