From the ranks, one day, cried Private James,
"Oh! Major-General John,
I've doubts of our respective names,
My mournful mind upon."
"A glimmering thought occurs to me,
(Its source I can't unearth),
But I've a kind of notion we
Were cruelly changed at birth."
"I've a strange idea, each other's names
That we have each got on.
Such things have been," said Private James.
"They have!" sneered General John.
"My General John, I swear upon
My oath I think it is so--"
"Pish!" proudly sneered his General John,
And he also said "Ho! ho!"
"My General John! my General John!
My General John!" quoth he,
"This aristocratical sneer upon
Your face I blush to see."
"No truly great or generous cove
Deserving of them names
Would sneer at a fixed idea that's drove
In the mind of a Private James!"
Said General John, "Upon your claims
No need your breath to waste;
If this is a joke, Full-Private James,
It's a joke of doubtful taste."
"But being a man of doubtless worth,
If you feel certain quite
That we were probably changed at birth,
I'll venture to say you're right.
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