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Gilbert, W. S. (William Schwenck), Sir, 1836-1911

"The Bab Ballads"


Let's see," said McCLAN, as he thoughtfully sat,
"'IN MY COTTAGE' is easy--I'll practise at that."
He blew at his "Cottage," and blew with a will,
For a year, seven months, and a fortnight, until
(You'll hardly believe it) McCLAN, I declare,
Elicited something resembling an air.
It was wild--it was fitful--as wild as the breeze--
It wandered about into several keys;
It was jerky, spasmodic, and harsh, I'm aware;
But still it distinctly suggested an air.
The Sassenach screamed, and the Sassenach danced;
He shrieked in his agony--bellowed and pranced;
And the maidens who gathered rejoiced at the scene--
Especially ELLEN McJONES ABERDEEN.
"Hech gather, hech gather, hech gather around;
And fill a' ye lugs wi' the exquisite sound.
An air fra' the bagpipes--beat that if ye can!
Hurrah for CLONGLOCKETTY ANGUS McCLAN!"
The fame of his piping spread over the land:
Respectable widows proposed for his hand,
And maidens came flocking to sit on the green--
Especially ELLEN McJONES ABERDEEN.
One morning the fidgety Sassenach swore
He'd stand it no longer--he drew his claymore,
And (this was, I think, in extremely bad taste)
Divided CLONGLOCKETTY close to the waist.
Oh! loud were the wailings for ANGUS McCLAN,
Oh! deep was the grief for that excellent man;
The maids stood aghast at the horrible scene--
Especially ELLEN McJONES ABERDEEN.


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