"Upon my word!
Well, really--come, I never!
Oh, go along, it's too absurd!
My goodness! Did you ever?
"Two Dukes would Mary make a bride,
And from her foes defend her"--
"Well, not exactly that," they cried,
"We offer guilty splendour.
"We do not offer marriage rite,
So please dismiss the notion!"
"Oh dear," said she, "that alters quite
The state of my emotion."
The Earl he up and says, says he,
"Dismiss them to their orgies,
For I am game to marry thee
Quite reg'lar at St. George's."
(He'd had, it happily befell,
A decent education,
His views would have befitted well
A far superior station.)
His sterling worth had worked a cure,
She never heard him grumble;
She saw his soul was good and pure,
Although his rank was humble.
Her views of earldoms and their lot,
All underwent expansion--
Come, Virtue in an earldom's cot!
Go, Vice in ducal mansion!
Thomson Green And Harriet Hale
(To be sung to the Air of "An 'Orrible Tale.")
Oh list to this incredible tale
Of THOMSON GREEN and HARRIET HALE;
Its truth in one remark you'll sum--
"Twaddle twaddle twaddle twaddle twaddle twaddle twum!"
Oh, THOMSON GREEN was an auctioneer,
And made three hundred pounds a year;
And HARRIET HALE, most strange to say,
Gave pianoforte lessons at a sovereign a day.
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