"My bride!" said gallant CAPTAIN TODD,
"She's mine, uninteresting clod!
My own, my darling charmer!"
"Oh dear," said she, "you're just too late--
I'm married to, I beg to state,
This comfortable farmer!"
"Indeed," the farmer said, "she's mine:
You've been and cut it far too fine!"
"I see," said TODD, "I'm beaten."
And so he went to sea once more,
"Sensation" he for aye forswore,
And married on her native shore
A lady whom he'd met before--
A lovely Otaheitan.
Tempora Mutantur
Letters, letters, letters, letters!
Some that please and some that bore,
Some that threaten prison fetters
(Metaphorically, fetters
Such as bind insolvent debtors)--
Invitations by the score.
One from COGSON, WILES, and RAILER,
My attorneys, off the Strand;
One from COPPERBLOCK, my tailor--
My unreasonable tailor--
One in FLAGG'S disgusting hand.
One from EPHRAIM and MOSES,
Wanting coin without a doubt,
I should like to pull their noses--
Their uncompromising noses;
One from ALICE with the roses--
Ah, I know what that's about !
Time was when I waited, waited
For the missives that she wrote,
Humble postmen execrated--
Loudly, deeply execrated--
When I heard I wasn't fated
To be gladdened with a note!
Time was when I'd not have bartered
Of her little pen a dip
For a peerage duly gartered--
For a peerage starred and gartered--
With a palace-office chartered,
Or a Secretaryship.
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