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Gilbert, W. S. (William Schwenck), Sir, 1836-1911

"The Bab Ballads"


It was noticed he constantly sighed
As she worked out the scheme she had planned,
A fact he endeavoured to hide
With his aristocratical hand.
Old POND was a farmer, they say,
And so was old TOMMY MORELL.
In a humble and pottering way
They were doing exceedingly well.
They both of them carried by vote
The Earl was a dangerous man;
So nervously clearing his throat,
One morning old TOMMY began:
"My darter's no pratty young doll--
I'm a plain-spoken Zommerzet man--
Now what do 'ee mean by my POLL,
And what do 'ee mean by his ANN?
Said B., "I will give you my bond
I mean them uncommonly well,
Believe me, my excellent POND,
And credit me, worthy MORELL.
"It's quite indisputable, for
I'll prove it with singular ease,--
You shall have it in 'Barbara' or
'Celarent'--whichever you please.
'You see, when an anchorite bows
To the yoke of intentional sin,
If the state of the country allows,
Homogeny always steps in--
"It's a highly aesthetical bond,
As any mere ploughboy can tell--"
"Of course," replied puzzled old POND.
"I see," said old TOMMY MORELL.
"Very good, then," continued the lord;
"When it's fooled to the top of its bent,
With a sweep of a Damocles sword
The web of intention is rent.
"That's patent to all of us here,
As any mere schoolboy can tell.


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