It never entered their pure minds
That fads are of eccentric kinds,
Nor would they own
That fat alone
Could make one discontented.
"Your riches know no kind of pause,
Your trade is fast advancing;
You dance--but not for joy, because
You weep as you are dancing.
To dance implies that man is glad,
To weep implies that man is sad;
But here are you
Who do the two--
You weep as you are dancing!"
His mania soon got noised about
And into all the papers;
His size increased beyond a doubt
For all his reckless capers:
It may seem singular to you,
But all his friends admit it true--
The more he found
His figure round,
The more he cut his capers.
His bulk increased--no matter that--
He tried the more to toss it--
He never spoke of it as "fat,"
But "adipose deposit."
Upon my word, it seems to me
Unpardonable vanity
(And worse than that)
To call your fat
An "adipose deposit."
At length his brawny knees gave way,
And on the carpet sinking,
Upon his shapeless back he lay
And kicked away like winking.
Instead of seeing in his state
The finger of unswerving Fate,
He laboured still
To work his will,
And kicked away like winking.
His friends, disgusted with him now,
Away in silence wended--
I hardly like to tell you how
This dreadful story ended.
The shocking sequel to impart,
I must employ the limner's art--
If you would know,
This sketch will show
How his exertions ended.
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